A 6th Graders Bucket List

Kid's say the funniest things they are implicitly creative and utterly honest; I am still convinced that I'm a kid in an adults body.

One of my friend's from school is a teacher in an urban crap shoot in hell chances of succeeding public school. 

As part of an assignment, he asked his 6th graders what they're hopes and dreams were aka, what do they want to accomplish in life. Some how, it became more like a bucket list. 

Note: these are actual goals as provided from actual 6th grade American students. The only things he altered are spelling and grammar...Obviously, they were given (a lot of ) license to dream. 

The Bucket List:

Punch a stranger in the face and say "You know what you did..." (Well, we are all guilty of something or the other)

Demolish a building with bombs. (Future Arsonist, imminently to be put on an FBI watch list)

Lose some weight. (I felt guilty when I read this one, screw you Paris 'Anorexic is Awesome' Hilton)

Jump off of a giraffe. (Probably more of an accomplishment to stay on a giraffe)


Tomato fight in Italy. (Apparently this is ensures quality tomato sauce)

Dress like Pac-Man and then go into the arcade and play nothing but Pac-Man. When I run out of quarters I will just chase people around the arcade. (Totally amazing)

Play soccer with the Queen of England. (I bet she has a mean right boot)

Wear a Real Madrid soccer uniform with my last name on it, go to Madrid, Spain and sneak into the stadium like I'm one of the soccer players. Then when I'm on the field I want to start a brawl. (It would certainly make the game more entertaining)

Be on a sinking ship. (They obviously watched Titanic once in class)

Go to a fancy restaurant in my underwear. (Alan from Hangover anybody?)

Destroy Pluto. (Why not, it's not a planet and we have plenty of nukes)

Hit people for no reason all day. (Criminal minded much?)

Go to Antarctica, hit a penguin. (Are there still penguins in Antarctica?...wtf happened to Global Warming?)

Crash an adult's party. (A solid dream to aspire to)

T.P. a house. (Toilet Papering a house is where student do exactly that all over the house)

Throw rocks at policemen and run. (Aw, these kids would feel right at home in the Gaza strip). 

Burn down the Amazon Rain Forest. (Yep, more room for poppy fields)

Run into a tornado. (Wtf)

Fight a bear and win. (Me too!)

Play soccer with zebras. (Would the Zebra win because they have 4 feet?)

Ride a shark. (Awesome idea, I always wanted Jaws as a pet)

Be in the UFC. (Ultimate Fighting Championship....real man wrestling). 

Fight Jackie Chan. He's so fake. (Not to mention as old as Fuck)

Meet Vin Diesel. (Of all the people in all the world...)

Fall off of a rollercoaster. (Obviously this kid believes he can fly)

Ride a shark. (This one apparently came up a lot)

Find buried treasure. (Who doesn't?)

Fight a gorilla (Another popular one...wonder if he thinks he can win?)


Running of the Bulls and then eating the bull later. (I out ran you, and now I'm going to eat you!)

Make a grown man cry. (Just wait till his sports team loses and you'll see it)

Become bait for a tiger. (???)

Climb an electrical pole during a storm. (Low life expectancy?)

Catch my hair on fire so it looks like Michael Jackson's. (Someone ought to tell the kid that he's dead)

Buy a shiny cane. (wtf??)

Sky Dive from 8,000,000 feet above ground. (....why 8 million feet?)

Go to a concert and jump off stage. (good one)

Talk to a parakeet for the first time. (And say what?)


Observe a girlfight. (One of life's true pleasures)

Build a mansion on the moon. (To live in, not be an architectural Genius)

Repent so I can go to heaven...after I beat my big brother up. (Hajj anyone?)

Beat up a snake. (Go Tarzan!)

Fly a plane, jump out of it, and hit a red target X. (Awesome, but potentially so suicidal)

Destory an abandoned building with C4. (who wouldn't want to do this)

Blow up a car with sticks. (...not dynamite sticks, but actual sticks...of wood...)

Eat fish in front of a bear and see if he attacks me. (I sure hope you know how to play dead)

Kids are great, but their imagination and propensity for creative wants astounds me every day, I hope all of these kids live out their bucket list, and I sure hope I get to join in as well.

Does beg the question...What is on your bucket list?

Special Thanks To Nick Jones, who is devoting his life to teaching the next generation how to properly fart, spell, play basket ball and hit on the opposite sex.