Bored? Attack Humanitarian Aid Vessels

Israeli warships attacked at least one of the six ships carrying pro-Palestinian activists and aid for blockaded Gaza. The al Jazeera satellite channel reported that Israeli navy forces fired at the ship and boarded it, wounding the captain. 



Israel pointed the finger of blame at the activists on the boats, accusing them of initiating the deadly bloodshed when they attacked a naval boarding force with live fire, knives and clubs on some of the six ships.


The military said “it seems as if part of the participants onboard the ships were planning to lynch the forces.”
“As a result of this life-threatening and violent activity, naval forces employed riot dispersal means, including live fire,” it said.


Mark Regev, spokesman for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, too blamed the passengers.
“They initiated the violence,” Regev told AFP. “We made every possible effort to avoid this incident. The servicemen were given instructions that it was to be a police operation and to use maximum restraint.


Israeli officials said overnight the navy told the activists by radio to turn back toward Cyprus or head for the Israeli port of Ashdod to unload the 10,000 tonnes of aid, which Israel would then transfer to the Palestinians in the Hamas-run Gaza Strip.

The convoy set off in international waters off Cyprus on Sunday in defiance of an Israeli-led blockade of Gaza.

The flotilla was organised by pro-Palestinian groups and a Turkish human rights organisation. Turkey had urged Israel to allow it safe passage and said the 10,000 tonnes of aid the convoy was carrying was humanitarian.

Details are sketchy, which they typically are whenever Israel is involved, which I imagine gives their spin doctors time to figure out what the fuck their tact is going to be, but preliminary reports suggest that Israel boarded a ship that was part of a convoy carrying humanitarian supplies such as food and medicine to gaza, and in the midst of waving their guns about, the passengers didn't take kindly to the Israeli forces forces presence and eventually around twenty people were killed and as many fifty were wounded. Then again other reports are like 19. We'll find out eventually. But even I couldn't initially fathom why Israel would attack the 'Freedom Flotilla'. Was it to prove that they are in control? Is this an exercise on how 'bad ass are we' or 'we do what we want'?

Now to be fair, the Israeli forces did declare that they would not allow the ship to reach the Hamas controlled Gaza strip, when they say embargo they mean embargo, but that said with all of the casualties on the Humanitarian Aid Providing Activists (the kind of committed people that make the rest of us feel like shit), I wonder how many Israeli troops were killed in the encounter.....yep. zero.

Now in their defense they may have been dressed in Kevlar, and there wasn't any tear gas handy, or perhaps the Israeli Warships didn't know when the ships rudder was in order to disable it, but regardless, the threat from these 700 knife wielding, fish throwing, gun toting, food delivering activists couldn't have been very strong if they injured only four Israeli sailors...hell, you can injure four guys just by climbing onto a boat. Especially, when they are black commando clad Israeli special forces bad asses being dropped from helicopters onto the ship.

Yes....So, when Israeli ministry said a quaint little 'boarding party' what they really meant was heavily armed guys dressed from head to toe in black being dropped onto the decks of ships at 4:30am.....seriously...has everyone gone cuckoo cuckoo? This is straight out of a Steven Segal flick. All we need now is some martial arts mayhem. Pity there weren't any Japanese Ninja's on board.

Now, I'm a rather open minded fellow. I don't blindly hate Israel or the Jews, because I think it's plain silly. I particularly turn into rock star mode when some religious fundamentalist conspiracy driveling walking Humiliation on Islam finds it in his place to inform me of the power of the Zionist conspiracy and then proceeds to talk about various things he see's on the internet. Because naturally, if your as poorly educated as this fella, once you read something, it must be Quranic....

To any here who feel particularly uncharitably to the World's Jewish Population, consider this. The Prophet treated the Jewish Citizens of the Arab Nations fairly and gave them freedom from religious persecution. Islam is a religion of Tolerance. You can't just be tolerant when you find it convenient or your peeved off at facebook. People are people yo. Some good, some bad, mostly shades of grey. Israel just gets the most crap.

Anyhow, back to the point, I have to say, I think Israel fucked up huge here. They were told that the ship would be coming, turkey assured them that it was carrying only humanitarian aid, there are no Israeli fatalities, no  footage (as yet) showing the belligerent hippies attacking the Israeli forces and worst of all the ships are full of journalists (including Pakistani channel Aaj TV's own Talat Hussain).

Now the right question is why not deliver the food to the Israeli's in the first place and let them hand it off. Well, firstly they don't trust the Israelis'. After all, if it wasn't for the bombing, attacks, land disputes etc, those supplies of food and medicine wouldn't be necessary in the first place. And secondly, Israel actually has no right to create that embargo. The reason they get away with it is because no one else in the region has either the balls or the navy to take on Israel's fleet.

The News black out created by a freaked out Israeli information service is hardly going to help when all of those peeved off, shot at, internet publishing journalists take our their laptops and take aim at the blundering Israeli military. By the end of it, they'll make it look like Israel carpet bombed a Toys R Us. Huge Fuck Ups. They need to hire the guy who designed this....

Fire the Military Strategist that thought it was a good idea to attack a Humana-fucking-tarian Convoy. Or just have Mossad make that imbecile disappear. Next time, find a few of your own 'Free Palestine' Israeli Jews and put them on the boat. It'll look way tolerant...and actually good PR for a change.

angelina jolie

Angelina Jolie

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Sadistic: How to Punish with the Corrupt

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Xtina's Story

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Class at it's Best

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps from the reality show Real Housewives of New York City just released her music video for her song “Money Can’t Buy You Class.”

The 44-year-old reality star filmed the new video at a club in Manhattan called Covet.

Luann talked to People about the choreography in the video.

“There’s not really dancing,” she said. “I just have very good looking men standing around. And it’s about how money can’t buy you class, so I’m taking money out of their pockets and throwing it onto the floor.
NICE EXTENSIONS

Dear Uncle Sam & Friends

Dear Uncle Sam & Friends,

How are you? I hope you are doing well....well enough to give our thieving tyrants a few billion more dollars so they can pump up their swiss bank accounts and ride around in their convoy gold plated suicide bomber proof 'smart' cars. The free Boeing you threw in for free were nice too.

This is Pakistan here, not the government your accustomed to paying off dealing with, but the peeps. and yes, take that as evidence that we watch the WWE and think Christian; Captain Charisma himself, is awesome. See, we love your liberal TV!

Shouldn't that make us more human, rather than a perpetual inconvenience that requires a cheque book? We have feelings too you know, we ought to talk about them sometime when your done invading other countries or causing economic collapses.

We don't talk often, but when we do it's usually about money and how you should be giving us some for doing things like cleaning our rooms off the poisonous bugs we have scurrying around (Your fault btw). Fine we will, but it'll cost you a few billion and damn straight we feel perfectly entitled in demanding it.

You do seem to talk alot about us though, 'The Pakistani People' and how you want to 'help us', horse shit here is some news for you douchebags, Pakistani people think you are full of shit. You don't want to help us, you want to control us, teach us how we should think, what we should believe and what we should do. Fuck that. We'll pretend to be nice when taking your piles of cash, but let's be honest here, this is a business transactions. We do what you want for pay, but we'll skull fuck you verbally all freaking day. We'll burn all y'all flags and wait for your dethronement, for that we'll pray.  

You ask us why are we so belligerent, why do we blindly hate y'all so much. And as sweet as that sentiment may sound, it is my sad duty to inform you that we don't blindly abhor you; we hate you the same way that a drug addict prostitute hates her 'clients'. You only give us money to fuel our angst, and baby, we'll cluster fucking burn that wad of bills until there is nothing left and you have to come back to give us more. We know what you're trying to do..... You pay us off like we're trash, like beggars on the street, like parents who pay off their kids so they can justify not spending time with them. So fucking be it you impotent assholes.

Now that we have nukes (which you paid for, thanks btw), come and try to beat us with your big bad stick. Make our day.  Does Nuclear Holocaust and potential genetic mutation sounds particularly awesome?

We grew up disenfranchised, with one dictator/thief after another, all promising that our lives were going to be better, and all the while you looked on in appreciation that your newly hired nanny was actually going to take care of us. Bull Fucking Shit. These so called 'guardians' raped and pillaged everywhere they went, and you know fucking what, history repeats itself. Telling us that they're democratic doesn't make their crimes any less painful. Yes we elect them, you prop them up, we elect them. That's the story 'morning glory,' call it part of the Stockholme syndrome that you infected us with. Thanks a load, the family thanks you.

And what the hell is it with Afghanistan? Why is their every fuck up our god damn fault. We didn't make those pot growing Islamic Hercules loving hippies the way they are, you did. Just like you made us just the way we are with your Jihad against the Communists...

We get it, it's cheaper for you to train and send us to shed our blood than having to deal with all the bad press of American soldiers coming home in body bags. Btw what the fuck is this whole bringing the body back home for burial. Seriously, WHAT? You bury a man on the ground he dies on. Period. Carting a dead body complete with hash filled coffins just seems far more disrespectful. What the fuck are you? Made of Money? Oh yeah...wait.  

You want to make things better? Well here's a start, try focusing on the actual people who live here, the ones that don't have enough to eat while you make your regular deposits in our leaders Swiss bank accounts. How about a little electricity for those poor bastards living like slum dogs. The movie was cute, but it's fucking reality. How about educating a few folk? Only half the population can write their bloody names.....and that's the litmus test to see if they are literate. And most of all, how about investing in our Future rather than offering us military hardware and bucket loads of your dirty money.

Thank you for your mother fucking money, here is to us making you choke on it!

Sincerely yours,

The Pakistani People

PS: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU END 24 & LOST!!!!WHY? WHY? WHY?

PSS: YOU ARE NEVER LEAVING AFGHANISTAN OR IRAQ: SUCK ON THAT BITCHES!!!

SCRAM LOHAN

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — Lindsay Lohan left court Monday with a heavy new piece of jewelry. but it wasn't her favorite kind of bling. Lohan sported an ugly, alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet that came with tough restrictions on her probation that could cut into her career plans.

The measures were ordered after Lohan angered Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel by failing to show up for a hearing last week in Beverly Hills and instead attended the Cannes Film Festival in France.

Photos from Cannes showed the actress partying on a yacht into the late hours on the day she was supposed to be in court in Beverly Hills.

A bench warrant was issued for her arrest then lifted when her lawyer posted bail and Lohan flew back to the United States over the weekend.

Lohan, wearing a dark gray pants suit, arrived in court a few minutes late and appeared somber and concerned when she conferred with her attorney about the move to attach the bracelet and require drug and alcohol testing every week in the Los Angeles area.

The bracelet gets a signal through the skin if a person has been drinking and sends the signal to the company that monitors it, court spokesman Alan Parachini said.

Lohan's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, told Judge Revel that Lohan was planning to travel to Texas to film a movie titled "Machete."

Revel suggested the actress might have to delay the project and was unmoved when Holley suggested Lohan could fulfill the probation requirements in Texas.

Revel stressed that she was prepared to spend a half-hour reading Lohan and Holley a list of her reasons for ordering the bracelet, drug tests and an alcohol-education program.

Holley conferred with Lohan then accepted the judge's decision.

Asked if she understood the orders, Lohan said quietly, "Yes, your honor." It was her only statement in court.

Holley noted that Lohan had missed one previous hearing after he uncle died.

"Did she attend the funeral?" the judge asked coldly. Holley turned to Lohan, who sadly shook her head no.

Lohan, 23, did not address a throng of media outside the courthouse before joining Holley at the hearing. The actress rushed past the media on her way out, leaving in a waiting SUV.

The actress has been on probation since August 2007 after pleading guilty to misdemeanor drug charges and no contest to three driving charges.

Revel set a probation violation hearing for July 6 to address Lohan's failure to appear in court last week for a scheduled progress report on the probation stemming from the two high-profile arrests.

Lohan, who gained fame in the movies, "Mean Girls" and "The Parent Trap," has provided the tabloid media with lots of fodder with her personal escapades. She spent more than two hours after the hearing waiting for a bracelet to be placed on her ankle. Lohan must wear the bracelet until the July hearing, when the judge will decide if it will remain in place, Parachini said.

Lohan was to be arrested upon her return to Los Angeles for missing the mandatory hearing, but the judge recalled the warrant late Thursday after Lohan posted bail.

Holley said Lohan's passport was stolen in Cannes, and she was unable to return to Los Angeles in time for the previous hearing. Holley told Revel on Monday she has proof Lohan had an airplane ticket to return for that hearing.

Pillion Riding: Double Sawari Zindabad!!!

The Government of Pakistan has banned Pillion riding. Only Government officials and children under the age of 12 are exempt, however that is expected to change once a child (under the age of 12) bearing a Klashnikov takes out a hapless MNA who is already protected by an entire division of Black Water, Pakistani Rangers and the State Police.   

One is admittedly supremely impressed that our highly educated political figures even know what pillion riding even is. Bravo. Double Sawari as it is commonly known is where multiple individuals squeeze themselves onto a motorcycle. The government decided to institute the ban when the number of target killings that occurred via double sawari increased exponentially; Attackers would load up on motorcyles, and their pillion rider(s) would shoot their targets in true drive by fashion. 

First let me applaud the government and express my intense gratitude that the government is so concerned about its own safety. After all, running Pakistan into the ground is an extremely dangerous job, as evidenced by the regiments of body guards required to maintain our political savior's safety.

Unfortunately, even the10 strong vehicle convoys and head of state style protection detail is not enough to maintain the safety our esteemed selfless leaders. And nothing is more important for our nations’ interests than to preserve the safety of our brave leaders. In order to defeat terrorism we must protect the people who stand up and.....whine about how powerless they are to stop it? SHIT FUCK DAMMIT SHITASS POLITICIAN GARBAGE POOPERS  uphold democratic values as embodied by the constitution. 

One is compelled to applaud our brave principled leaders’ unpopular (not to mention completely ineffective) but highly necessary stance to ban pillion riding. They certainly know how to defeat domestic terrorism. One arcane piece of legislation at a time. 

Now I can see why the government would fear for their lives (even I want to beat a bunch of them senseless; those hypocritical, child molesting, step sister banging fucks) , but honestly can they actually justify an outright ban on pillion riding (exempting government officials and children under 12). The reason given is to stop militants. By this logic perhaps they should consider a ban on cars for the same purpose…unfortunately they can’t, as their convoys are highly reliant on having expensive four wheeled vehicles. Pity they can’t walk or take the buses like the people they claim to represent (I claim to represent no one, hence my guilt free driving around Karachi in my imported car with an AC blasting on the ‘Artic Circle’ setting). Global Warming eat your heart out. 

Who does this help? Is Transport Mafia having a hard time filling up their buses?...highly unlikely, buses are still packed to the brim….because…wait for it….Most people in Pakistan can’t afford bikes, but those who do typically attempt to compete with small cars in terms of number of passengers.

Dammit Riding Pillion is freaking cool, look at Aamir Khan, that bastard can afford a couple of dozen tricked out Monster Trucks....then again, maybe he's just being paid to sit there.  

Is it safer to ban it? Yes, pillion riding in Pakistan’s bumpy roads is hardly the modicum of safety but no one has ever forced another person to ride pillion style. We live in Pakistan, we have to contend with bomb blasts, large scale faulty wiring and swarms of criminal activity on a daily basis. Pillion riding is safe as all hell by comparison. Those who ride pillion style do so out of necessity, not desire.

We hate motorcyclists...seriously. They are the worst drivers on the planet, all they do is bitch and complain about how poor they are compared to people who own cars (your much richer than the dude who has to walk or take the bus, asshole) and if they ever get into an accident, they always manage to inflict more remunerative damage on others than on their own rides. So naturally there a vendetta against motorcyclists: Every person I know owns a car hates motorcyclists and I have never seen a motor cyclist elected to Parliament. If there is anything else we can do to make your lives hell, feel free to let us know or bust ass at work, get promoted and get yourself a car. Gari walla (Dudes who own cars) Zindabad. 

It’s really a morality law; 'May no man every ride with a girl', it's disgusting yo...do it in the back seat OF A CAR like everybody else. It benefits the politicians’ car driving progeny/beneficiaries and increases their ability to pick up girls. After all, the buses are in a putrid state and walking is just plain boring. 

Through this law, the government can now further reduce interaction between the sexes; how completely deviously brilliant of them. Besides, seeing two (or three) guys huddled together on a bike is one of the most gay friendly things you will ever see. Oh, how cute do those guys look grinding against each other and holding hands on that rackety bike. 

What I think the real purpose of this ban, is that the cops can use this inane law to catch other suspected criminals. No one would dare suggest that our honest cops would use this law as an excuse to increase their bribery revenue. Yep, no one. Besides, Cops are exempt from the law.     

Actually this law is completely logical. Once our esteemed elected officials feel safe, they’ll be able to focus on legislation and actually work for the betterment of the country. Ever wonder why military governments’ (appear to) get things done? It’s because they are all packing heat 24/7. You mess with the military and they'll drone bomb your house and pretend that the Americans troops did it. 

Oh, incase anyone is wondering, the ban isn’t working and oddly enough, even odder people are actually getting together to protest against it. So, Pakistani's won’t protest against corrupt government officials, but pillion riding is protest worthy...national strategic concern even. What a nation we live in.

A version of this piece was published on Dawn.com

Brittany Murphy’s widower found dead

Simon Monjack, the screenwriter husband of the late actress Brittany Murphy, died on Sunday night at his Hollywood Hills home, police told the Los Angeles Times.

The cause of his death, which comes just five months after Murphy died at the age of 32, was unknown, the newspaper said.

"We have detectives at scene," Sgt. Louie Lozano told the Times. "They are conducting their investigation. Once we have further information, we will provide it."

L.A. Fire Department spokesman Brian Humphrey said it responded to a 911 call for an "unspecified medical need request" at 9.24 p.m. PT Sunday, the paper said.

Fire Department personnel provided medical services to Monjack, but he was pronounced dead, according to a Los Angeles police sergeant, who declined to give his name to the Times, at the Hollywood Station late Sunday night.

In March, Monjack was moved to set the record straight on rumors about his relationship with Murphy in an interview with Access Hollywood’s Shaun Robinson.

“You told the New York Post you first fell in love with Brittany when she was a teen during a photo shoot. You said, ‘I was very patient.’ What did you mean by that?” Robinson asked.

“I mean, she was like very young. When she was 17, it would’ve been like dating a 12-year-old,” Monjack explained, dismissing the notion that some might call it inappropriate. “There was only eight years between us. It was more of just an attraction to the person.”

As a photographer, he often staged elaborate photo shoots with her. But he hit back at rumors that the two got married in 2007 because the British-born Monjack’s visa was about to expire and he was facing deportation.

Related stories Murphy’s family bids farewell in private funeral Murphy’s husband ‘destroyed’ by her death Frantic Brittany Murphy 911 call released “Brittany Murphy marrying for a visa – it’s so crazy," he said.

Bret Michaels Wins Celebrity Apprentice!

Bret Michaels has done it, he has won “Celebrity Apprentice”!

After suffering a brain hemorrhage and a “warning stroke”, he decided to still attend the finale of the show in support of his charity the American Diabetes Association. 

Mr. Trump asked, “Are you risking your life being here? This is a lot of pressure.” About Bret’s doctors, Mr. Trump shared “they didn’t want you to be here tonight. At all. Believe me, not at all.”

“Lately it seems like me just standing up is risking my life,” Bret said, garnering laughs from the audience. He flew to New York from Los Angeles for the finale.

Both finalists, Bret Michaels and Holly Robinson Peete won $250,000 for their charities as Snapple decided to match Mr. Trump’s prize money of $250,000. 

On Bret Michael’s health, a spokeswoman on her website says: “No doubt these recent medical complications have been tough but he wants to continue to live his life, enjoy every day and get back on the road,” “He is taking all the medications and steps to insure that he can do that.As his friends and staff we are all making sure that he is not taking any undo risks and we are certainly taking every precaution possible to insure his health and well being.”

At the end of the show Donald Trump looked at Bret and looked like he was going to fire him, but instead said — “you’re hired,”. I have to say that was a great relief to hear, he was truly the underdog from the beginning of the show, and I am glad to see that he won. He’s extremely creative, a great project leader, and really knows how to treat people with kindness and fairness.

Soon we will see Bret on TV again, first in a series of interviews to celebrate his “Celebrity Apprentice” victory.Next week Sunday he will preview his new reality show “Bret Michaels: Life As I know It,” which is due to launch in fall. However, production has been put on hold due to Bret’s health issues. Bret is also due to release a new album next month.

Read more about the charities Bret Michaels and Holly Robinson Peete support below:

Bret Michaels supports the American Diabetes Association

Holly Robinson Peete supports autism with her own charity, HollyRod Foundation

Hollywood Hot Beauty Angelina Jolie

Brown Sugar

Sarah Harding looks almost unrecognisable in her new film thanks to flowing, brunette locks.
Sarah Harding's new look is Angelina Jolie meets Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction and we like it so much we think she should definitely consider crossing over to the dark side.

However, we don't recommend the Girls Aloud beauty goes out and gets a bloody nose like her character in Bad Day - who has been beaten-up by her gangster boyfriend.

Directed by Ian David Diaz, the new movie is about a vigilante cop who goes on a brutal campaign of vengeance in the hunt to find her daughter’s killers.

Party girl Sarah stars alongside Donna Air, Claire Goose and Robbie Gee as foul-mouthed gangster’s moll Jade Jennings.

It's full to the brim with cat-fights, cops and on-the-edge-of-your-seat type stuff and to top it all off - it was filmed in two weeks with the girls all working for free!

If you're not a fan of the thrillers then definitely check it out for a closer inspection of Sarah Harding's new barnet.

The DVD for Bad day will be released on May 24th.

George HOPEZ

George Lopez wife says he cheated. The wife of George Lopez saved his life 5 years ago when he needed a kidney. The actor appears to be the latest man to be added to the list of disgrace celebrities.

"I had sex with George Lopez for money, and so did a friend of mine," Tiffany, a prostitute, said in a statement. "He wanted a threesome and texted me." She is an escort in Tampa Bay, Florida. While we were unable to verify a "Tiffany," or the accuracy of this report, other news outlets claim the story is true.

If true, I can we can say that he prefers hookers and Jesse James likes the tattooed tramps. There is a certainty that business partner and longtime friend Sandra Bullock will be less than comforting to him in this situation. Bullock has filed for a divorce and has moved to New Orleans as she plans to be a single mother to her adopted child.

In 2005 George's spouse, Ann Serrano, saved his life by giving him one of her kidneys after he needed a transplant due to a deteriorating genetic disease. Most people find it difficult to understand how this could happen to someone who saved his life, but then again, society and Hollywood celebrities have gone crazy. We can only hope this rumor is false, she does appear to be upset, but we were unable to confirm the report.